Holding Onto Hope in the Waiting
It’s mid-December. We’ve been living in this pandemic situation since March. That’s nine whole months of masks, social distancing, rigorous hand-washing, and eye rolling at phrases like “unprecedented times.”
It’s also nine months of many other things for some of us:
working from home
not working because we were furloughed or let go due to budget cuts and closures
working overtime to produce PPE, take care of the sick, or take on more work as others left
not traveling
not going to the movies, to concerts, to big parties, to big weddings, graduations, and dozens of other things
postponing or significantly changing plans to cooperate with varying regulations
grieving the loss of loved ones
feeling lonely because we can’t see loved ones in person
too many virtual meetings, church services, coffee dates, and family get-togethers to count, which were great in the beginning, but have since lost their sparkle
waiting for things to “get back to normal”
slowly realizing that we can’t go back, but can only go forward to a new “normal”
being inundated with differing opinions and changing information as more research is done, more people speculate, different decisions are made, and everyone airs their opinions
I’m sure I’m forgetting things. And these obviously include none of what we’ve experienced as our eyes have been opened more to racial and social injustice in our country and worldwide. I don’t mean to minimize those awful events, their impact on the friends and family of those involved, or what we may learn as a society and hopefully change going forward. I’m simply choosing to focus on one large issue here instead of two.
How are you feeling?
It seems like nearly everyone I talk to (or hear from through things like podcasts) is tired. Tired of waiting for this to end. Tired of even waiting for it to get better. Tired of working too much or too little or not at all. Tired of being alone. Tired of having to hold plans with open hands.
LETTING GO
One thing I’ve been praying for myself and all of us lately is that we would learn to let go of the illusion of our control. We really never had a whole lot of control over things to begin with. This pandemic just made it clearer to us that we can “make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps” (Proverbs 16:9). I’m speaking to you as a person who desperately wants to control even the small details, like not having clutter on the counters (or the front of the fridge), spending my evening the way I planned to, getting my hair to do exactly what I want it to do, and sticking to all of my holiday traditions.
But guess what? 2020 isn’t cooperating with our delusions of control. It’s forcing us to face the fact that we aren’t holding the reins here. So if it feels like things are going off the rails, it’s because we think we’re responsible for keeping things going on the path we had set our sights on.
But news flash: we’re not God. I don’t mean to sound condescending. I truly mean that we don’t have to be in control. It’s not that we don’t get to be; we don’t have to be. Do you hear the difference?
It’s actually really comforting to realize that we aren’t responsible for fitting all the pieces of this crazy puzzle together. It might look like a real jumble of pieces right now, and that’s okay. It will all fit together somehow, someday, and in the meantime, we can be excited when we see that the edge pieces have finally come together. ;) We can’t see the picture on the lid of the box, but we can trust that there is a picture, and it will be completed in the end. It’s just not the end yet!
IN THE WAITING
I’ve never understood Advent so well as I have this year (and I still don’t feel like I’ve fully embraced it all, but I’ll give it time). I just need it more this year than ever before.
Advent is about waiting, longing, sitting in the dark and knowing that the light is coming. Even when we can’t see it yet.
Isn’t that how we feel this year? We’re waiting and waiting and waiting some more— for answers, for a vaccine, for normalcy, for the opportunity to see people again, to get to put the masks away, to get to travel, to have everything open again…
But we don’t know when any of those will come. We hope that they will (and to some extent, we know they’ll come eventually), but we don’t have a date, despite our desperate longing for one.
What we can know, though, is God is never early or late (even if it feels like it, and trust me, I feel that). He is using this to draw us near to Him, to draw out our fears and insecurities, bringing them to the surface, pushing us to examine them in a world that has been forced to slow down and make room— room for Him and what He’s doing. We might have missed it or overlooked it if we were in the middle of the whirlwind of seasonal activity.
We’ve been given the space here to think about what really matters, what it is that cannot be lost. And if we choose, we’re given the opportunity to dig deeper into what we believe and choose to let it sustain us when there’s nothing else to hold onto or substitute for the real thing. So many of our vices have been taken away, and I’ve actually been grateful for that. Without the busyness, without the rushing, without the hustling, I’ve been able to see God more. Maybe you have, too.
HOLDING ONTO HOPE
I’m choosing to look forward to Christmas as the end of Advent, the end of the season of waiting in the dark, knowing the light is coming. It’s more than a season of movies, music, cookies, shopping, and gift-giving (though I love those, too!).
I’m choosing to believe that God is at work here, even when I can’t see Him or understand His ways. Have you ever thought about that? I’m actually glad I can’t fully understand Him. I wouldn’t want a God that I could fully understand, a God that’s only as smart as I am. Yikes!
I’m worshipping anyway. I’m finding ways to connect with people that look different but still meet our needs to see each other and catch up. I’m looking for ways to give.
I’m hoping that next year will look different, and we’ll look back on this season and see how God was faithful, He never left us, He stretched us and grew us and worked in and through us— but that only happens if we let Him. May we let Him.
My Advent Prayer
Come, Lord Jesus. I’m pausing to sit here with You today in anticipation for what You are already doing and what You will yet do.
Holy Spirit, fill me with Your peace in this season of hustle and bustle. Remind me to keep my eyes on You, to remain aware of what’s going on in the world around me, in my home, and in my heart. Help me stay alert to how You’re moving, preparing me and those around me for what’s ahead.
Reassure me when it seems to take too long for things to get better that You, Lord, are never late or early, and Your plans are perfect, even when I will never see how they work together while I’m on this side of heaven.
Comfort me in my disappointment as things don’t go according to my plan— when people are grouchy, when traditions are skipped, when loved ones far away are missed. Help me cling to You and Your hope— that You are always here, that You will redeem all of this, that You are still in control, that nothing and no one can take away what You have given us by Your birth, sacrifice, and resurrection— hope in a relationship with You that sustains us through it all.
May we all find ourselves waiting on and hoping in You in this advent season, releasing our hopes and trust in anything and anyone else as they all fall short. Only You, Jesus. Only You.
Amen.
And if any of you are looking for some Advent resources, here is the book I’m LOVING, and the cards and the candle (that come as a set) that I’m really enjoying are unfortunately no longer on Mercy House Global’s website, but you should check them out for other ideas!
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