How to Host a Stress-Free Party (Murder Mystery Style!)

I had 7 friends over for a murder mystery party last weekend, and it truly didn’t stress me out. Do you want to know why?

Because I took steps to make it stress-free. I didn’t pay anyone to do it for me or do it so simply that it seemed like just another everyday hangout, but I found ways to make it fun, festive, and relaxing.

Today I’m sharing with you how I did it!

1) Pick the right people to invite.

I invited close family and friends who all knew at least two other people (besides me) quite well. This ensured that nobody would feel left out. I’ve been to parties before (and weddings before) where I only knew one person, and it got really awkward if that person was away talking to someone else or using the restroom or something and I had nobody else to talk to.

It’s also helpful if at least one of the people (yourself included) is a take-charge kind of person who can help keep conversation and/or activity moving. I’m talking specifically about a murder mystery party, which needs to move along at a certain pace, but this also applies to a regular party, too.

2) Make food you’ve made before.

I was just talking to my friends about this because I did make food for my party that I had made before, making it less stressful than trying out a new recipe. I often do try out new recipes with guests, however, so do what works best for you here. I will just say that making something brand new takes more focus, attention to detail, and possible stress. So if you’re going for a truly stress-free party, maybe skip the complicated recipe you haven’t tried before (or take the time to test it out a couple weeks in advance).

3) delegate.

I’ll admit I wanted to do most of my party prep myself, but delegating is a great way to share the load and reduce your stress. I asked some of my guests (who offered) to bring some charcuterie items since I had completely forgotten to get them at the store. This was a good option because it didn’t require them to cook or prep anything; they could truly stop at the store on their way over if they wanted and just grab some packaged crackers and cheese.

You also could have a guest curate a playlist as a fun contribution. It takes a little bit of time, but it can be really simple, and it’s easy to bring!

4) make a list.

Of course, not everyone is a list-maker, but I am. Writing everything down that needed to be done helped me feel focused, and it kept me from overlooking the simple things (light candles) as well as the bigger things (bring up the leaf for the dining room table, bring up extra chairs, make the main dish). It also helped me see what things could be done in advance (see the next point) and what things I still had left to do.

5) prep ahead of time.

I started decorating about 3 days in advance, prepping food 2 days in advance, cooking food 1 day in advance, and that worked out really well. I think that is the main reason I wasn’t stressed out.

We use our dining room table for at least 2 meals a day, but I was still able to put the extra leaf in it, stick some extra chairs around it, put a table cloth on it, and start on the tabletop decor a few days early because I simply left one end of the table (enough space for 3 chairs— 1 at the end and 1 on each side) uncovered. It was less visually cluttered than piles of supplies on the table and helped me visualize what the finished table would look like, since all I had to do was finish setting up those 3 places.

I did all the chopping of the veggies a couple days ahead and roasted them (and baked the brownies) a day early. This was partially because our oven was out of commission, but it proved to be really helpful!

On the day of, all I had to do was make a dip and the main dish, mostly because they wouldn’t taste as great left over as they would fresh. I also had plenty of time to make just those two things. I had to warm up the rest of the food and assemble the salad, but everything else was cooked. The table was set. The playlist was created and simply needed to be pulled up.

6) borrow as much as you can.

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t want to spend egregious amounts of money on things I won’t get enough use out of. I don’t like buying clothes for a costume if I won’t wear them again, and I don’t want tons of decor I can’t use except for a murder mystery party, since I don’t host them often enough.

I reached out to my local Buy Nothing Group on Facebook to see if anyone had pieces I was searching for to complete my outfit. I was supposed to be an elegant older woman celebrating her birthday at her country manor, so I was looking for a faux fur wrap and elbow-length gloves. Some kind person in the group had both to offer me! My sister also had some bracelets, a necklace, and some hair pins I borrowed. I wore my own dress and shoes, and I did my hair in an elegant twist.

My sister also had fancy chargers (the decorative plates that go under the dinner plates you actually eat off of), taper candles and candle holders, votive candles and holders, large pedestal candle holders, decorative jars, and a faux fur blanket I borrowed for decorations. I borrowed a couple of scarves from my mom to drape over my furniture as well.

I only bought one black table cloth, two sets of metallic napkin rings, one set of cloth napkins (because I already had a set I could use), and fake greenery to make a plant for a side table (using a vase, portable table, and table cloth I already had).

7) get a party kit that has everything you need.

I had a boxed murder mystery party kit called Culinario Mortale that I got as a gift from my sister-in-law, and it was so fun! It was set up in such a way that I could host the party without having insider information about who committed the crime. In fact, the whole group was tasked with trying to figure out who did it, and it was a great way to work together!

This is where I think it would be easy to feel like we need more things. I did make a handful of homemade photo props just for fun, but they definitely weren’t necessary. We didn’t need a fancy photo backdrop, goody bags, or prizes for who guessed correctly. We all cared more about having fun with our characters and trying to get to the bottom of the mystery.

8) Just have fun with it.

I set out a lot of LED candles, fancy dishes, luxurious pillows and blankets, and photos of my friends playing the characters of my family as our “family photos.” I love doing that kind of thing, but it’s absolutely not necessary. It also was the kind of thing I could do a few days ahead of time and not stress about, especially because I already had all the supplies.