How to Choose Joy Every Day
I choose a word for the year every year (or for the last several, anyway). I find it to be more fitting for me than setting a New Year’s resolution, and when I inevitably forget about it for a while, it carries less guilt. :)
This year, the word I chose is “joy.” After having a baby last year, I found that I stressed out very easily about every little thing (which didn’t feel little at the time, mostly just in hindsight). I worried about whether my daughter was eating enough, sleeping enough, getting enough tummy time, and so many other things.
I realized as my daughter was reaching more milestones, like crawling and eating solid foods, that the snuggly newborn stage was behind us. All I really remember about that time is being frustrated, stressed, exhausted, and overwhelmed. I see other friends with newborns, and while I know nobody’s experience is all sunshine and rainbows, it seems like many of them are better able to soak in the special time with their baby in those early days. I know I can’t go back in time, but this realization was the kick in the pants I needed to reframe my thinking in my current season (and seasons in the future).
I don’t want to waste this season stressing about the challenges of it. Life will always have challenges, but I can choose to focus on them, or I can choose to look for the good things that also exist.
Enter my word of the year: joy.
I want to pursue joy. I want to embody joy. I want to spread joy.
Have you ever gotten a new car, only to find yourself noticing duplicates of it everywhere you look? It seems like all of a sudden, everyone else has the same make and model, style and color as you. It’s not actually that everyone copied you, but that you’re more perceptive of it because you’re looking for it.
I want my focus on joy to be the same. I want to be searching for it so much that I can’t help but find it everywhere I look.
How to Choose Joy
I start with praying each morning that I would focus on some simple things: God’s superabundant grace, contentment in my circumstances, finding rest, being grateful for what I have, and encouraging myself and others. And I pray that my eyes would be opened to joy.
I love starting my day with reminders to focus on what I want to be thinking about throughout the day. I set a recurring reminder for this through my Todoist app, but a sticky note on a mirror would work just as well.
Finding more joy
What brings you joy?
I don’t mean that in the sense that went viral with Marie Kondo (though I do appreciate simplicity and organization). I mean truly where do you find joy in life? Is there a certain activity, person, or place that brings you joy?
Next, how can you get more of that joy into your life?
I was asking myself (and continue to ask myself) these same questions. And I don’t think the answer has to be just one thing. There are so many ways you and I can infuse more joy into our daily lives.
For me, that has meant a variety of things:
taking more time to read books after my daughter goes to bed or taking a bit of her nap time to do that (instead of just buckling down to get work done)
getting my daughter out in the stroller to take a walk whenever possible
reaching out to friends to make plans that I can both enjoy in the moment and look forward to
listening to uplifting music on the radio throughout the day (bonus: my daughter has been enjoying it, too!)
Other things that contribute to joy
I don’t think it’s just searching for joy that makes life more joyful. There are things that put me in a better place mentally and emotionally to live more joyfully.
For one, I have learned that I need enough sleep. I know that’s often hard with little kids, but our girl has blessed us by being a great sleeper. I function so much better and am in a better friend of mind when I get enough sleep. It helps me have a better, more joyful perspective the next day.
I also set myself up better to live joyfully when I drink enough water and get regular exercise. It elevates my mood and helps me start the day off on the right foot.
Spreading joy
“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” — Mark Twain
It’s one thing to experience joy ourselves, but I think sharing it with others takes it to the next level. This is most evident for me with my daughter. Whether it’s blowing bubbles for her, hunting for her favorite toys, playing her favorite games, or trying to contain my groans when she wants to hold both of my hands and walk around the house for the twentieth time that day, seeing her joy brings me joy.
This could of course extend to spouses, siblings, roommates, friends, or other people in our lives. When I do something my husband wanted to do (like play a yard game I’m horrible at), knowing that it made him happy makes me happy.
And of course, helping other people in any way can bring us joy, even if they can’t or don’t reciprocate. Finding ways to serve and contribute our gifts to the world around us is a wonderful way to spread joy!
What do you think about joy? Have you ever done anything to pursue it purposefully? I want to know!
