10 Things I Learned in My First Year of Being a Mom

I’m by no means a professional. I don’t have a degree in early childhood education or child development. I have worked in various childcare positions, but I’m not currently. This is simply a collection of what I have learned from my own experience as a mom in the first year of parenting my daughter. Take what I have to say with a grain of salt. :)

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SLOW DOWN

I naturally look forward to the stage ahead of where I currently am. I always have. But I’m still learning to embrace slowing down. The stages of early childhood change so quickly, and I already miss so many of the ones we’ve passed through. I’m trying to savor each one now that I realize just how bittersweet growing up is.

There is plenty of time and opportunity for productivity, play, and outings when babies get bigger. When they’re little, it’s the perfect time to snuggle and absorb all the contact naps and cuddles you can get. I miss those days!

2. BABIES DON’T NEED MUCH

There are lots of products for babies, and an entire industry (or more than one, depending on how you break it up) aimed toward parents of littles. But babies really don’t need much, especially in the first few months. Our daughter wore the same clothes (footie pajamas) on repeat for months, didn’t play with toys for a while (and then only a select few for even longer), and had no need for anything fancy.

3. ASK FOR HELP

I’m still not super great at this one, but boy did I have to humble myself at the beginning and ask for help. There’s a reason people say “it takes a village to raise a child.” We’re not meant to do it alone. People will offer to help, but I learned I needed to be willing to both receive what was offered and make specific requests. People can’t meet your needs if they don’t know what they are. And most people are more than willing to help if given direction!

4. WRITE THINGS DOWN

I started a baby book for our daughter, and I have a monthly reminder to fill out information for that month’s reflections and notes. I would probably forget otherwise. It’s becoming a sweet collection of moments and fun facts. But what I’m loving more (and wish I would have done more in the early days) is my One Line a Day journal. It’s shorter-form and open-ended, so I can write whatever I want, and it’s so fun now to see how this year’s entries contrast so much with last year’s.

5. EMBRACE MEAL PREP

I’m living for prepared meals. I love putting extra servings in the freezer for busy weeks, making food in larger quantities to have leftovers for a couple of days, making a week’s worth of breakfasts in one go, and preparing my daughter’s food in advance. It’s really difficult to make a last-minute meal with an extremely fussy and hangry child, so this lesson may have been learned the hard way. But I’m passing it on to save you the same headache!

6. THE WORK WILL WAIT

I’m working from home and trying to take care of my little one at the same time. That brings certain challenges with it. I’ve learned to do my best to let the work wait (when possible) and be present with my daughter. This goes for household tasks, too. Unless I can bring my daughter with me and do the task one-handed (or get it done really quickly if she manages to play independently for a moment), I let it wait. I’m not naturally wired for that, and I don’t love having a messy house or long to-do list, but I know my daughter needs me more than the house, dishes, or emails need me.

7. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF FEEDING TIMES

I’ve gotten so many books read while nursing in the last year! I listened to a ton of audiobooks when I was doing nighttime feedings because I needed something to focus on to keep from dozing off. And I have loved reading ebooks on my Kindle while nursing during the day, too. But I’ve also used that time to respond to emails or complete other work tasks on my phone.

8. BREASTFEEDING IS TOUGH

I try to be encouraging, but breastfeeding is hard. It just is. Please know that it’s okay to admit this, okay to struggle with it, okay to get frustrated, okay to want to quit, and okay to call it quits if you need to for the sake of your sanity or the health of you and/or your little one. My daughter and I managed to figure it out, but it took months to iron out all the issues we experienced. I’m beyond grateful for the way things turned out in the end and all the time I got to spend giving her that gift, but I feel for all the mamas who have different stories, too.

9. GET THINGS SECONDHAND

Babies don’t need a lot of stuff (see #2), but it certainly seems like they do. :) I know that sounds contradictory, but IYKYK. Between clothes, toys, books, and furniture, it seems like there’s a lot of stuff we could spend our hard-earned money on. And kids outgrow things so quickly! So I love that there are options for buying kids’ things secondhand. I wrote a post about how I save money on kids’ things here.

10. TALK TO OTHER MOMS

Or dads. Or families. But talk to people who have been through it. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Seek out the people who will give you the raw, real, whole answer to your questions. Find people who will invite you over into the mess of their home to see how they handle tantrums, meals, naps, and fights between their kids. Learn from each other. Vent with each other. It’s such a good way to see how other people do it, relieve some stress of feeling like you have to do everything “perfectly,” and build stronger friendships in community.

Did I miss anything? Let me know! And if you’re a newer parent, let me know what you’ve been learning!