5 Ways I'm Cultivating What Matters This Year

5 Ways I'm Cultivating What Matters This Year

My one word for 2020 is “cultivate.” As in “cultivate what matters.”

I always have good intentions for my goals, both at the beginning of the year and throughout the year. But somewhere along the line I tend to lose some focus and intention. It’s like my word choices and goals start to slide into the backseat. I don’t forget about them entirely, but I’m not centering my year and my actions around them like I’d wanted to.

This year, I’m trying something just a little different. Like in previous years, I’m choosing one word for the year. But I’m specifying how I want that word to shape my life instead of just figuring it out as I go.

Now these still aren’t super concrete goals, and I don’t think they have to be. Yes, I’ve written about setting smart goals, but I think there’s space for both those kinds of goals and resolutions and also bigger-picture conceptual goals that can’t really be measured as much by metrics as by heart change.

So check out what my plan is for this year and see if it’s something that resonates with you as you begin your own journey into 2020.

Why Cultivate?

For me, cultivating paints a picture of planting seeds. It brings to mind one of the books I read (and several conversations I had with my husband and our pastor) during premarital counseling that talked about planting seeds and pulling weeds. You have to plant what you want to grow and rip out what you don’t want to grow.

I want to be the best, most Christ-like version of myself. I want to be a good friend, wife, sister, daughter, employee, coworker, neighbor, and overall human to those around me.

I want, also, to stop feeling like I’m not doing the things I want to be doing (which just reminds me of Paul’s writing in Romans about how he does what he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do what he wants to do). It’s not a fun feeling to keep doing things you know aren’t the best for you, like staying up too late too many nights in a row or eating five cookies in one sitting.

So I’m choosing to be more intentional with how I’m behaving, working to cultivate better qualities, habits, thoughts, attitudes, and decisions that reflect what really matters to me.

Connection

I want to cultivate connection this year. That means choosing to spend more time with my people. It also means the opposite, choosing to spend some time with myself or say “no” to outings and get-togethers with people who are on the fringe of my circles to be able to have more time and energy to spend with my closest people later. As an introvert, it’s important that I budget my time this way, making sure I prioritize the most important, closest people first, since I have a limited amount of time and energy (especially social energy) to give.

I’m going to reach out more to my closest friends to make plans instead of wishing somebody else would do it.

I’m going to voice my opinions about what I would like to do and also know that I might not get my way, in order to be more honest and foster better communication.

I’m going to talk to my husband about planning some date nights, even low-key ones, and work through our movie list together.

I’m going to talk to my best friend to solidify our loose plans for a trip later this year so we actually make it happen.

I’m going to work to be more open in sharing what I’m thinking and feeling with those closest to me instead of keeping it to myself.

Health

Health is always a difficult subject because people define “healthy” differently.

This year, I want to work on eating more intuitively instead of eating when I’m bored or for some other reason besides actually being hungry. And I want to understand how to eat more balanced instead of focusing so much on the kinds of things I don’t eat, choosing to have fun with a wide variety of things I enjoy, some just less often than others.

I want to move more often (having a fitness tracker has really helped me pay attention to that), especially at home.

I want to get to more farmers’ markets and buy more local, seasonal produce— not just for my health, but also to support small businesses in my community.

Generosity

I want to be less stingy with my time and money, more willing to share my resources with others.

I want to volunteer more often. My family took our annual trip to Feed My Starving Children recently, and they have a challenge for their volunteers to come once a month in 2020. While I’m not quite ready to adopt that goal just yet, I am considering what kind of specific goal I might want to aim for, as I definitely want to participate more.

I’m also learning greater financial generosity from my husband and working to make plans for our giving together.

I’m also going to open up my (our) home more often this year, knowing that it will get loud and messy (two things I don’t love), but I’ll get to foster community and serve others (two things I do love).

Grace

In everything, I’m working to give myself and others more grace. I can be quick to judge and quick to get frustrated when things aren’t going quite right (or going my way, which is right in my world).

Grace when I go back for thirds on brownies because I’m bored, and then feel less than great about my decision.

Grace for when I repeatedly reach out to friends to get together and get crickets in return.

Grace for when I don’t handle conflict with my people very well.

Grace for when I overdo it on a workout and strain something, causing frustration with myself all over again.

Grace for when I start comparing myself with others, remembering that I’m not them and they’re not me.

Patience

It’s really easy for me to want everything to happen in the blink of an eye. Or in the span of a month. But real change doesn’t usually happen that quickly. Real growth takes time.

I’m going to work this year to patiently plant seeds, rip out weeds, and do some watering. Once we get our garden set up, I’m going to be literally doing those things, but I mostly mean them in the figurative sense.

I’m going to be doing the hard work of giving grace, reaching out to others, saying “no” more often, giving more of myself, and working on my health and relationships. It’s a lot, but when I think of it under the umbrella of cultivating what matters, it comes together pretty cohesively. And all of it is going to take a serious dose of patience.

What traits, priorities, or characteristics are you cultivating? Do you have a word for this year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments or via email!